Let me start by saying that I am no history buff. I would incorrectly answer the year the War of 1812 was fought if asked. I never had an interest in history when I was in school and still to this day am not very good at remembering random facts about anything past 5 minutes ago. So forgive me if I am wrong in what I am about to say.
The Great Wall of China is a beautiful structure that took many men a very long time to create. It was designed to keep what was good in and the bad from entering. It was a solid, well built pile of rock that to this day is still mostly standing. People from all over the world travel to see it, take pictures of it, and attempt to bring a piece home with them. I can’t say that visiting the Great Wall of China is on my list of top things to see in my lifetime, but I do think it is an impressive piece of history.
The wall was a brilliant thing built by people with good intentions and a clear purpose. As I was thinking about the Wall it made me think about the walls I have put up in my own life. They aren’t physical walls because just as I am not a history buff I am also not a very good construction worker, but emotional walls. Like the Great Wall in China, the walls protecting me were put up in small sections over a long period of time. Now they are winding and connected all around in order to keep out the bad.
Most people don’t enjoy suffering, and I am certainly in that category. I love living life with a smile on my face. I enjoy being happy and making other people laugh. Keeping out any negative things is a way that I am able to live my life with a smile stretched tightly across my face. New sections are continually being added to protect from pain and suffering. But as I get older, which is happening much too fast recently, I wonder if the walls are worth it. Am I truly happy? Do I know true happiness? And how can I answer those questions when I haven’t allowed myself to live life as it is meant to be lived?
My long winding walls are safe and comfortable. Is it true that without the experience of pain there is no room for finding new joys? Without allowing one ’s self to live life and fully experience how can you determine what is worth keeping out? I am not sure that I am ready to give up my protective walls just yet but as I begin to process all this I am very curious to learn just how green the grass is on the other side.
